Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
