So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
