We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
