what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
