I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
