I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
