i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
