My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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