I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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