The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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