Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
