Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
