this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
