Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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