Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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