Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
kristin has been a bad kristin
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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