Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
