hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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