I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
