my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
