Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
dude. I can hear the air.
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