I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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