Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
