she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
