please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
