I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
