you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
