my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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