the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize