She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
