I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
