I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
this just has baby written all over it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
