I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
