Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
