i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
