this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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