i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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