the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
