Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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