Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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