yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
