butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
