i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
