Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
God, you're like boner-b-gone
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
