I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
