Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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