so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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