i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize