cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
