Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize