yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
