If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize