friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
