I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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