I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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