No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
