The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
