it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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