How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
