Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
