if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
