She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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