Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
