My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
