Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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