her vagine was all disorganized.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
